Love & Respect in marriage
So, I bought this rug. I really like this rug. Took me a while to find something I loved and wasn’t way over budget. It makes me really happy. Brings some color and design to our living space.
I’ve also been listening to a lot of Dr. Myles Munroe lately, on the principles of relationships. He says that it doesn’t state anywhere in the Bible for a wife to love her husband, as a principle. But that he should be respected by her. And that the husband should love his wife, treating her like his own body.
I think as wives we forget that. Our husbands need our respect before our love. Why are we so inclined to love how we want to be loved? I don’t know. I know I tend to give what I want and how I want to receive in return. But that’s not how it works.
So, this rug. The other day I found my husband talking to me in the living room and all I could focus on was how he was standing on this new rug with his dirty boots. Mortified. Thinking about how new this rug was and that it hadn’t had its time to really shine before we decided that walking on it with dirty shoes was okay.
Holy Spirit stopped me immediately. He said, “the man standing in those boots is more important than that rug.” I was disgusted with myself. How could I possibly not have that subconscious thought? Of course I LOVED my husband; way more than that rug.
But the word says, a woman is to RESPECT her husband. Respect - “to think highly of, to hold in high regard.”
Subconsciously, I was holding the quality and appearance/state of this rug higher than what my husband was even trying to speak to me about. Why? Because I wasn’t holding that principle of respect higher than my LOVE for him.
This man should be (under God) the first priority of my life, and everything that concerns him. He is the head of this home. I should be holding him and what he has to say and his dreams and his concerns higher than anything else.
This is why mindfulness is so important. To think about our thinking. If we don’t, we’ll never get to the bottom (our subconscious or automatic thinking) of our problems. And also why it’s important for us to know what God really says about relationships and marriage.
So, I’m trying more now, to think about how I’m thinking, and discovering what respect truly looks like in marriage. To be more thoughtful of him. To put him in his correct place in my heart and mind.
I love this rug, but I should love it because it keeps his feet warm and cozy and dry, which is more important than the rug itself.